The Loves of Our First Presidents

February is home to several major events including Presidents’ Day and Valentine’s Day. I thought it would be great to celebrate both by taking a look at the love lives of Washington, Jefferson, and Madison.

You know the old saying—behind every great man is a great woman—and it rings true with the three men you can encounter on Duke of Gloucester Street here in the Revolutionary City. Each man married a woman he loved so dearly.

George and Martha Washington

George and Martha (formerly Custis) were married Jan. 6, 1759, about 18 months after Martha’s first husband died. Martha had four children from her first marriage, but unfortunately, only two lived longer than the age of five. George gained two stepchildren. They did not have any children together.

Mount Vernon describes their attraction upon meeting as “mutual, powerful, and immediate.” A portion of a letter from George to Martha—a rare find after Martha destroyed nearly every other letter following his death—reads as follows:

I retain an unalterable affection for you, which neither time or distance can change, my best love to Jack & Nelly, & regard for the rest of the Family concludes me with the utmost truth & sincerity.

You can read the rest of the letter here. The two were married for just over 40 years before George’s death in 1799. Martha died in 1802. They are both interred at Mount Vernon.

Thomas and Martha Jefferson

Like George Washington, Thomas Jefferson married a woman who lost her first husband as well as a child. Thomas and Martha (formerly Skelton) were married Jan. 1, 1772, four years before he would pen the Declaration of Independence. Unfortunately, no portraits of Martha are known. They had six children and only two would live to adulthood.

Four months after the death of their last child, Lucy, Martha passed away. Jefferson was heartbroken, as evidenced in a letter he penned to the Marquis de Chastellux:

A single event wiped away all my plans and left me a blank which I had not the spirits to fill up.

Monticello says Thomas may have courted Martha for about two years prior to their marriage. He also ordered her a pianoforte, as she was likely gifted in music. They were married 10 years before she died in 1782, and Thomas died in 1826.

James and Dolley Madison

James Madison also married a woman whose first husband died. James and Dolley (formerly Todd) were married Sept. 15, 1794. Dolley had two children with her first husband, one of whom died as an infant, and James gained a stepson.

According to Montpelier, James and Dolley were rarely apart, and there are only a few letters that describe their lives together. When Dolley went to receive medical treatment James wrote the following:

Consoling myself now with the expectation of soon having you with me.

Dolley responded the same by stating she would “risk everything” to join him. They were married 42 years before James’ death in 1836. Dolley died in 1849. Both are buried at Montpelier.

Romance novels and rom-coms have nothing on these three.

And while John Adams does not frequent Williamsburg, his relationship with Abigail is by far one of my favorites and I feel compelled to give them a little shout-out. If you have a chance, give My Dearest Friend: Letters of Abigail and John Adams a read. The book contains the letters they wrote during their lives and is just amazing.